Although my blogging has fallen off dramatically this past year, that doesn't mean we don't have lots to say about Sabrina and Stevie. At this point we are more likely to post a ridiculous occurance or silly comment on Twitter or Facebook just because it's so quick and easy.
If you are on Twitter, I am @Token0978 and Kev is @kevalbert if you'd like to follow us. For those of you who are not on Twitter, here are some highlights about the kids from the last six months.
June 2011
J: Me: Sabrina, Get out of daddy's closet. Sabrina: I'm the PANTS! #kidsarestrange
J: Sabrina: What's this song? Kev: Enter Sandman. Do you like it? S: Um, no. Can we listen to the Popcorn Song instead? #madedadsad
K: Sabrina: "[Your hair] is getting long, like girls' hair." Might be time for a haircut. #thetruthhurts
K: Walked into the living room & Sabrina is in my recliner. Sat on her. "Daddy please don't sit on me. I'm trying to relax" #harassingkidsisfun
July 2011
J: There are NOT enough kids’ shows about fireman robots. Someone should get on that. #typicalboy
J: I could yell FIRE and it would still take 20 minutes to get everyone out of the house. #mydadwasright
K: Even being only tangentially involved, I hate potty training. The racing around, visiting potties in public places. The misses. Such a pain
K: Dinner across the street and yet, we're 15 minutes late. Of course, we are.
K: To quote Sabrina: "STOP! Stop talking to me all day!" Apparently I am bothering her. #missionreciprocated
K: Stevie, pretending to be a dog, was fetching things for Sabrina. I had him get my slippers from upstairs. Feel bad or exploit some more?
K: Things Stevie's fetched so far: several toys, 2 remotes, my slippers, Sabrina's water cup, my blackberry. Things licked: me
K: At the end of birthday party number #2, Stevie asked why weren't going to a 3rd birthday party and was not happy with our answer.
K: My favorite Stevie-ism right now is his goto response to a question: "Because I don't know."
K: My least favorite Sabrina-ism is, "You ruined my life." It seems like she's going to be lucky if I let her live to adulthood.
K: Playground Axiom: With 2 kids swinging & needing pushes, there is a 100% chance that they will choose the 2 swings farthest from each other
August 2011
K: Overheard in our house this AM: "I want to wear sandals because it's a little bit summer" & "You have a sad dirty face. Like a monster"
K: From the girl's room (being forced to nap prior to going the beach): "This is the longest nap ever!!"
K: So Jess kills more phones than cancer. Actually, I don't know how many cancers she's killed but I doubt it's more than 3 phones
[Author's Note: I killed my new iPhone when I dove into the water to rescue Sabrina. Pretty sure it was worth it]
K: Once my daughter misheared @hunterpence3's name as "Underpants." Now both my wife & daughter call him that & giggle. Only one of them is 4
[A/N: *giggle*]
K: From Sabrina last night during a particularly difficult bedtime routine: "Everyone is nice except for you and Mommy" #successfulparenting
K: We're watching the Dora's Explorer Girls movie. Upon seeing a flashback of young Dora, Sabrina declared "Look! That's the real Dora"
K: Stevie, building a puzzle: "Little help please." Me: "Coming" Stevie: "No. I was asking Brina" #blowtotheego
K: The answer to the question "Do you want to smell my hands?" will ALWAYS be no.
[A/N: Part of potty training. Stevie loves that different soaps have different smells and doesn't understand why we aren't as excited as he is]
J: While I appreciate that their independence will serve them well in adulthood, I'd REALLY appreciate some obedience now. #childrenforsale
J: Annoying my kids first thing in the morning is not just my right, it's my responsibility. #simplejoys
J: What does O-U-T spell? Sabrina: stop it. Me: No it spells "out". What does O-U-T spell? S: Mom, STOP IT!!! #mykidcantspell
J: Yep, I just made up a song about underpants. Why, what have you done today? #momsareweird
J: I hate getting a song stuck in my head that's in a language I don't know. I can't even pretend to sing along! #stupidDora
J: According to the girl, BEST DAY EVER!!! #solomonsisland
J: Sabrina started a story with "back in the olden times" when referring to my life before her #egoblow
J: If everyone is unhappy, I must be doing my job right. #catch-22
J: Me: How'd I get such wonderful kids!? Sabrina: We were babies, then we grew up! #touche
K: Kev to Stevie: "Come on, don't be a punk." Sabrina: "Yeah! Don't be a pumpkin."
J: New house motto: Don't be a pumpkin!
J: The kids are "hiding were you'll never find us"... how long before they realize that I'm not looking?
J: In the event of a power outage, someone should invent a generator powered by a child-sized hamster wheel. #Irene #twobirdswithonestone
J: Learning that my husband is not the kind of parent to throw a game against his children. #soreloser?
J: When a kiss doesn't cure a boo-boo, threat of amputation will. #parenting
September 2011
K: Art project. No fighting. Pleases & thank yous. Not sure why Jess finds these hard. Maybe she's not doing it right
J: @kevalbert the first hour is easy. Talk to me if you ever get to hour ten #biteme
J: Mutual fear of the vacuum makes housecleaning a bonding experience for kids #parenting #stopfighting
K: According to Jess, you don't clean your sister. Stevie disagrees.
K: My Dad: Is that going to destroy the furniture (referring to a toy)? Me: The boy? Yes he is, stick by stick. #choosetheformofthedestructor
K: To quote Sabrina: "You've caused enough trouble... GUITAR" #kidsarestrange
K: Sabrina describing school today: "Show and Tell was awesome. It's like the Best Thing Ever!" #minime
October 2011
J: "There's a tie. That means Daddy's here" Sabrina as we waited to pick Kev up from the metro. #daddyslittlegirl
K: Took the kids to see the Lion King. Sabrina loved the singing but wanted Simba's dad to come back. Stevie liked it but thought it was scary
K: Sabrina: "I liked it when Simba's dad came back in the clouds." #lionking
K: Sabrina cried when Mustapha died. She was very cute. Took my and Jess' hands.
K: Stevie made 3 towers. The Daddy, the Sabrina & the Stevie. Mommy "didn't have enough blocks"
[A/N: Good summation of my mental state]
K: It's hard to be mad at Sabrina when she came out of her room after being tucked in to come down stairs & yell "Go Phillies!" one more time
K: To quote Jess, "Do not use hugging as a weapon" #kidsarestrange
J: There was a huge boom. By way of tattling, the girl came to me, stretched out her arm and silently pointed towards the boy. #parenting #narc
J: I picked out my wedding dress in less time than it takes my son to pick out a lollipop. #parenting
K: The kids made it 52 minutes through the service. I count that as a win. #batmitzvah
J: It seems that 3 cars equals 4 dinosaurs in kid math. Either that or Stevie just made a great deal.
J: Kev to Sabrina: You're very cute. Sabrina: And I'm smart! Kev: And modest.
J: New house motto: I cannot give you what I do not have. #repeatingmyself #parenting
J: Addendum to new house motto: No! I will not go to the store. #repeatingmyself #parenting
J: There is not enough rum in the world to ease parenting tonight. #GOTOBED!
J: A child's favorite spot to stop is the one right inside the door or right at the top of the stairs. #dropoff #parenting
J: Little boys must be allergic to underwear considering the daily fight its become. #thisibelieve
J: Stevie: why are we not good? Me: I. Don't. Know.
J: I hate glitter. That is all.
J: Camouflage boots? Check. Buzz Lightyear wings? Check. Complete lack of pants or underwear? Check. #kidsarestrange
J: From the girl: "Candyland is the BEST Land EVER!" Suck it Iceland.
J: All family vehicles should be required to include the sound-proof barrier that limos have #parenting #myearsarebleeding
J: Mis-matched socks are the new black. #parenthood
November 2011
J: The boy to his daddy: "You are MY iPhone!" #catsinthecradle
K: If cause of death is "bludgeoning due to singing at a high volume 6in from ur head," you'll get off its your kid, right? Asking for a friend
K: AM duty. Kids wanted sandwiches for breakfast. I give Sabrina hers & she tells me that Jess makes the best sandwiches #thetruthhurts
K: Taking the kids to Open Gym to let them expend some energy. Which is like diffusing a bomb with a bigger bomb. Total annihilation.
K: Sabrina: "Want to hear a song I made up? I sing it loudly!" How am I supposed to respond to that without inflicting emotional scars?
J: Dear Nursery Teachers--Thanks for teaching my kids that a paper bag full of bird seed is really reindeer food.
J: Dear Self--Next time one of your children exclaims "OOPS, I made a hole in the bag!" don't finish what you are doing, get up and see what's going on.
J: Dear Carpet--I'm sorry.
J: One parent's sarcasm is another parent's positive reinforcement. #doingmybest
J: Playing dead is a valid method of parenting at 5 a.m.
J: When your child is entertaining herself by incessantly counting from 1 to 100, DO NOT ask her about no. 101! #nopeace
J: The boy asked me if I could call Santa on his iPhone. I told him I didn't have the number but I'd e-mail. He seemed satisfied. #modernxmas
December 2011
J: Almost abandoned both kids at Ikea. I really could've just walked away and out the door. Still don't know if I made the right choice. And it's only the first day of winter break.
J: "Mom, why are there so many One Way signs on Earth?" as we drive through D.C. #goodquestion
K: It's probably hypocritical being a Jew but I've been threatening Santa skipping our house if the kids don't listen, eat, go to bed, etc
[A/N: He used this threat more than I did!]
K: Jake and the Neverland Pirates are celebrating "Winter Treasure Day." Finally someone calls it what it is
K: You know what's pretty annoying, "Daddy, Daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, DADDY!!" "Yes" "Mice are faster than bunnies" "Um, Ok"
K: The kids slept in until 7:30AM. It's a Christmas miracle!
K: Sabrina's singing:Rudolph the red-nosed Stevie. Had a very shiny Stevie.&if you ever saw it..#replaceawordofasongwithStevie ThanksJess
K: Playing Candyland w/ Sabrina. Got the ice cream so I got to jump way ahead. Sabrina: You're really good at this game
January 2012
K: Both kids slept in until 8:10AM. It's a New Year's miracle.
J: BACK TO SCHOOL DAY!!!!! #longestbreakever
K: is glad that turned out to be chocolate on my leg. Now to figure out why there was a pop tart on the floor #kidsarestrange
K: When it takes two college educated adults to assemble a kid's toy, I think you need to adjust the 6+ designation #engineeringdegreerequired
K: My son was typing on a pocket calculator. I asked him what he was doing. He shushed me and said, "I'm working" #catsinthecradle
J: The boy was running through the house yelling "I FOUND JESUS". Turns out they were playing hide-and-seek with the Little People Nativity set
K: My son did a super selfish act disguised as a sweet gesture. I was sitting on the couch being cold. He is under a small thin blanket.
K: At the same time, my daughter is playing under a big comfy quilt. She finishes with it & my wife is about to cover me with it.
K: Instead my son announces that he is giving me his blanket &begins to tuck me in. Once done, he immediately asks his mom for the quilt because he's cold.
K: I totally got screwed out of the big quilt! What a little stinker!
J: Using a puppet to explain to the kids exactly how much they were annoying me actually undermined the point I was trying to make. #gofigure
K: Stevie has been referring to today as "Martian Luther King Day". It makes me laugh every time.
If you are on Twitter, I am @Token0978 and Kev is @kevalbert if you'd like to follow us. For those of you who are not on Twitter, here are some highlights about the kids from the last six months.
June 2011
J: Me: Sabrina, Get out of daddy's closet. Sabrina: I'm the PANTS! #kidsarestrange
J: Sabrina: What's this song? Kev: Enter Sandman. Do you like it? S: Um, no. Can we listen to the Popcorn Song instead? #madedadsad
K: Sabrina: "[Your hair] is getting long, like girls' hair." Might be time for a haircut. #thetruthhurts
K: Walked into the living room & Sabrina is in my recliner. Sat on her. "Daddy please don't sit on me. I'm trying to relax" #harassingkidsisfun
July 2011
J: There are NOT enough kids’ shows about fireman robots. Someone should get on that. #typicalboy
J: I could yell FIRE and it would still take 20 minutes to get everyone out of the house. #mydadwasright
K: Even being only tangentially involved, I hate potty training. The racing around, visiting potties in public places. The misses. Such a pain
K: Dinner across the street and yet, we're 15 minutes late. Of course, we are.
K: To quote Sabrina: "STOP! Stop talking to me all day!" Apparently I am bothering her. #missionreciprocated
K: Stevie, pretending to be a dog, was fetching things for Sabrina. I had him get my slippers from upstairs. Feel bad or exploit some more?
K: Things Stevie's fetched so far: several toys, 2 remotes, my slippers, Sabrina's water cup, my blackberry. Things licked: me
K: At the end of birthday party number #2, Stevie asked why weren't going to a 3rd birthday party and was not happy with our answer.
K: My favorite Stevie-ism right now is his goto response to a question: "Because I don't know."
K: My least favorite Sabrina-ism is, "You ruined my life." It seems like she's going to be lucky if I let her live to adulthood.
K: Playground Axiom: With 2 kids swinging & needing pushes, there is a 100% chance that they will choose the 2 swings farthest from each other
August 2011
K: Overheard in our house this AM: "I want to wear sandals because it's a little bit summer" & "You have a sad dirty face. Like a monster"
K: From the girl's room (being forced to nap prior to going the beach): "This is the longest nap ever!!"
K: So Jess kills more phones than cancer. Actually, I don't know how many cancers she's killed but I doubt it's more than 3 phones
[Author's Note: I killed my new iPhone when I dove into the water to rescue Sabrina. Pretty sure it was worth it]
K: Once my daughter misheared @hunterpence3's name as "Underpants." Now both my wife & daughter call him that & giggle. Only one of them is 4
[A/N: *giggle*]
K: From Sabrina last night during a particularly difficult bedtime routine: "Everyone is nice except for you and Mommy" #successfulparenting
K: We're watching the Dora's Explorer Girls movie. Upon seeing a flashback of young Dora, Sabrina declared "Look! That's the real Dora"
K: Stevie, building a puzzle: "Little help please." Me: "Coming" Stevie: "No. I was asking Brina" #blowtotheego
K: The answer to the question "Do you want to smell my hands?" will ALWAYS be no.
[A/N: Part of potty training. Stevie loves that different soaps have different smells and doesn't understand why we aren't as excited as he is]
J: While I appreciate that their independence will serve them well in adulthood, I'd REALLY appreciate some obedience now. #childrenforsale
J: Annoying my kids first thing in the morning is not just my right, it's my responsibility. #simplejoys
J: What does O-U-T spell? Sabrina: stop it. Me: No it spells "out". What does O-U-T spell? S: Mom, STOP IT!!! #mykidcantspell
J: Yep, I just made up a song about underpants. Why, what have you done today? #momsareweird
J: I hate getting a song stuck in my head that's in a language I don't know. I can't even pretend to sing along! #stupidDora
J: According to the girl, BEST DAY EVER!!! #solomonsisland
J: Sabrina started a story with "back in the olden times" when referring to my life before her #egoblow
J: If everyone is unhappy, I must be doing my job right. #catch-22
J: Me: How'd I get such wonderful kids!? Sabrina: We were babies, then we grew up! #touche
K: Kev to Stevie: "Come on, don't be a punk." Sabrina: "Yeah! Don't be a pumpkin."
J: New house motto: Don't be a pumpkin!
J: The kids are "hiding were you'll never find us"... how long before they realize that I'm not looking?
J: In the event of a power outage, someone should invent a generator powered by a child-sized hamster wheel. #Irene #twobirdswithonestone
J: Learning that my husband is not the kind of parent to throw a game against his children. #soreloser?
J: When a kiss doesn't cure a boo-boo, threat of amputation will. #parenting
September 2011
K: Art project. No fighting. Pleases & thank yous. Not sure why Jess finds these hard. Maybe she's not doing it right
J: @kevalbert the first hour is easy. Talk to me if you ever get to hour ten #biteme
J: Mutual fear of the vacuum makes housecleaning a bonding experience for kids #parenting #stopfighting
K: According to Jess, you don't clean your sister. Stevie disagrees.
K: My Dad: Is that going to destroy the furniture (referring to a toy)? Me: The boy? Yes he is, stick by stick. #choosetheformofthedestructor
K: To quote Sabrina: "You've caused enough trouble... GUITAR" #kidsarestrange
K: Sabrina describing school today: "Show and Tell was awesome. It's like the Best Thing Ever!" #minime
October 2011
J: "There's a tie. That means Daddy's here" Sabrina as we waited to pick Kev up from the metro. #daddyslittlegirl
K: Took the kids to see the Lion King. Sabrina loved the singing but wanted Simba's dad to come back. Stevie liked it but thought it was scary
K: Sabrina: "I liked it when Simba's dad came back in the clouds." #lionking
K: Sabrina cried when Mustapha died. She was very cute. Took my and Jess' hands.
K: Stevie made 3 towers. The Daddy, the Sabrina & the Stevie. Mommy "didn't have enough blocks"
[A/N: Good summation of my mental state]
K: It's hard to be mad at Sabrina when she came out of her room after being tucked in to come down stairs & yell "Go Phillies!" one more time
K: To quote Jess, "Do not use hugging as a weapon" #kidsarestrange
J: There was a huge boom. By way of tattling, the girl came to me, stretched out her arm and silently pointed towards the boy. #parenting #narc
J: I picked out my wedding dress in less time than it takes my son to pick out a lollipop. #parenting
K: The kids made it 52 minutes through the service. I count that as a win. #batmitzvah
J: It seems that 3 cars equals 4 dinosaurs in kid math. Either that or Stevie just made a great deal.
J: Kev to Sabrina: You're very cute. Sabrina: And I'm smart! Kev: And modest.
J: New house motto: I cannot give you what I do not have. #repeatingmyself #parenting
J: Addendum to new house motto: No! I will not go to the store. #repeatingmyself #parenting
J: There is not enough rum in the world to ease parenting tonight. #GOTOBED!
J: A child's favorite spot to stop is the one right inside the door or right at the top of the stairs. #dropoff #parenting
J: Little boys must be allergic to underwear considering the daily fight its become. #thisibelieve
J: Stevie: why are we not good? Me: I. Don't. Know.
J: I hate glitter. That is all.
J: Camouflage boots? Check. Buzz Lightyear wings? Check. Complete lack of pants or underwear? Check. #kidsarestrange
J: From the girl: "Candyland is the BEST Land EVER!" Suck it Iceland.
J: All family vehicles should be required to include the sound-proof barrier that limos have #parenting #myearsarebleeding
J: Mis-matched socks are the new black. #parenthood
November 2011
J: The boy to his daddy: "You are MY iPhone!" #catsinthecradle
K: If cause of death is "bludgeoning due to singing at a high volume 6in from ur head," you'll get off its your kid, right? Asking for a friend
K: AM duty. Kids wanted sandwiches for breakfast. I give Sabrina hers & she tells me that Jess makes the best sandwiches #thetruthhurts
K: Taking the kids to Open Gym to let them expend some energy. Which is like diffusing a bomb with a bigger bomb. Total annihilation.
K: Sabrina: "Want to hear a song I made up? I sing it loudly!" How am I supposed to respond to that without inflicting emotional scars?
J: Dear Nursery Teachers--Thanks for teaching my kids that a paper bag full of bird seed is really reindeer food.
J: Dear Self--Next time one of your children exclaims "OOPS, I made a hole in the bag!" don't finish what you are doing, get up and see what's going on.
J: Dear Carpet--I'm sorry.
J: One parent's sarcasm is another parent's positive reinforcement. #doingmybest
J: Playing dead is a valid method of parenting at 5 a.m.
J: When your child is entertaining herself by incessantly counting from 1 to 100, DO NOT ask her about no. 101! #nopeace
J: The boy asked me if I could call Santa on his iPhone. I told him I didn't have the number but I'd e-mail. He seemed satisfied. #modernxmas
December 2011
J: Almost abandoned both kids at Ikea. I really could've just walked away and out the door. Still don't know if I made the right choice. And it's only the first day of winter break.
J: "Mom, why are there so many One Way signs on Earth?" as we drive through D.C. #goodquestion
K: It's probably hypocritical being a Jew but I've been threatening Santa skipping our house if the kids don't listen, eat, go to bed, etc
[A/N: He used this threat more than I did!]
K: Jake and the Neverland Pirates are celebrating "Winter Treasure Day." Finally someone calls it what it is
K: You know what's pretty annoying, "Daddy, Daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, DADDY!!" "Yes" "Mice are faster than bunnies" "Um, Ok"
K: The kids slept in until 7:30AM. It's a Christmas miracle!
K: Sabrina's singing:Rudolph the red-nosed Stevie. Had a very shiny Stevie.&if you ever saw it..#replaceawordofasongwithStevie ThanksJess
K: Playing Candyland w/ Sabrina. Got the ice cream so I got to jump way ahead. Sabrina: You're really good at this game
January 2012
K: Both kids slept in until 8:10AM. It's a New Year's miracle.
J: BACK TO SCHOOL DAY!!!!! #longestbreakever
K: is glad that turned out to be chocolate on my leg. Now to figure out why there was a pop tart on the floor #kidsarestrange
K: When it takes two college educated adults to assemble a kid's toy, I think you need to adjust the 6+ designation #engineeringdegreerequired
K: My son was typing on a pocket calculator. I asked him what he was doing. He shushed me and said, "I'm working" #catsinthecradle
J: The boy was running through the house yelling "I FOUND JESUS". Turns out they were playing hide-and-seek with the Little People Nativity set
K: My son did a super selfish act disguised as a sweet gesture. I was sitting on the couch being cold. He is under a small thin blanket.
K: At the same time, my daughter is playing under a big comfy quilt. She finishes with it & my wife is about to cover me with it.
K: Instead my son announces that he is giving me his blanket &begins to tuck me in. Once done, he immediately asks his mom for the quilt because he's cold.
K: I totally got screwed out of the big quilt! What a little stinker!
J: Using a puppet to explain to the kids exactly how much they were annoying me actually undermined the point I was trying to make. #gofigure
K: Stevie has been referring to today as "Martian Luther King Day". It makes me laugh every time.